Chapter One: Starting Your Very Own Mega-Church
Chapter Two: Profit
Chapter Three: How to Cope With Losing Half Your Money to Your Ex-Wife
After You’re Caught with a (Male) Hooker
Chapter Four: Repeat.
(the above written by my sketch-writing partner Andy who doesn’t have a blog)
I was blessed this weekend with a visit from my dear friend, role model and person I want to be one day, Julie. Julie and three other girls from Augusta ran the Chicago marathon in record time (they blew right past the Kenyans and Ethiopians as if they were standing still) and still managed to have the energy for celebratory drinks and dinner followed by some live jazz at The Green Mill.
Julie, Jen and Kristin post-race. How is it possible to look this good after 26.2 miles? I would look like a wreck after 26.2 feet of running.
During our delicious supper at the Hancock Tower, Julie reminded me that I have a blog. Whoopsie. I’d completely forgotten all about it. So even though I have a lot to catch up on and very little internet time with which to do so (I’m currently using McDonald’s WiFi and trying my hardest not to spank every loud, obnoxious brat in the joint. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PARENTS THESE DAYS?!) I thought I’d just drop a quick post congratulating Julie, Jen, Kristin and Veronica on their huge accomplishment and thanking them (as well as their faithful cheerleaders, Sarah and Sarah) for a lovely visit.
Julie, now you don’t have to look at those 3 boys anymore :)
My terribly generous parents UPS’d me 4 boxes of linens, kitchen things and towels.
Puzzlingly, there was only 1 pillow in the box but 17 boxes of 3-year old diet food had been packed up from the garage and shipped to my Lincoln Park place. Daddy later explained that he was worried I would run out of money and he thought I could eat this diet food when I couldn’t afford groceries. No word on why a pamphlet about “Historic Women on Stamps” or a print-out of an email from a wedding client in 2007 were included.
Remember those “before” pictures of my empty apartment? I can now reveal to you the stunning “after” shot. I hope you’re sitting down.
I now have a bed!! Still no table, chairs, sofa, TV or internet. Heck, I don’t even have mail (a problem that is becoming increasingly more annoying as the weeks wear on.) But a bed is a great improvement over a lone towel and the hard floor.
Just when I thought my week couldn’t get any better, my friend Kelly arrived Thursday morning from Athens for a weekend visit. And she brought presents (Georgia peach coasters and a copy of Tina Fey’s Bossypants which I may or may not have already read 2 times through.) We ate some lunch, rode the bus downtown (I am obsessed with riding the bus! I will sometimes just get on to ride around like a homeless Vietnam Vet), walked around Macy’s, saw Millenium Park, walked in the Art Institute Museum, ate deep dish pizza at Giordano’s (thanks again, Kim!) and then walked most of the way home in the rain because I don’t know how one-way streets work.
Kelly, posing with some guy she met at a club.
On Friday, we woke up, ate some breakfast and set out to see some real Chicago landmarks: the homes of Larry & Balki and the Winslow Family.
Larry & Balki's Apartment
The Winslow Abode
We stumbled upon Oz Park, saw Wrigley Field, ate a cupcake at Molly’s and went to the World’s Most Pretentious Hipster Movie Theater** to see Win Win, a very likeable film. The evening ended with a pleasant meal at Oodles of Noodles where we each pulled a muscle rolling our eyes at the party girls seated next to us.
Saturday, we took a stroll through Lincoln Park and walked along Lake Michigan. Despite the overbearing fog and lack of sun, I still managed to get sunburned. I think it’s my spiritual gift – to sunburn even in the absence of sun. Afterward, we headed to Old Town where I showed Kelly The Second City and the Training Center (that makes me feel like Jared from The Pretender or Jason Bourne in Bourne Ultimatum), we had some lunch and walked back uptown. We cleaned up and ate supper at The World’s Most Diverse Restaurant**. They had gyros, American-style Thanksgiving dinner (turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes and dressing), Japanese stir-fry, burritos and more. We then saw an improv show at The Playground Theater which was most enjoyable and hilarious. One half of a delightful couple from Ethos performed with her improv group and the other half sat with us during the show. We may or may not have made another trip to Molly’s.
Sunday, we worshiped at Ethos where there was fantastic music and a very solid message, further cementing my decision to choose that church. Brunch was consumed in record time, we grabbed Kelly’s bags, jumped on the bus and raced (at a public transportation rate) to Midway airport where Kelly boarded her flight in the nick of time.
It was a delightful weekend. It was even warm on Sunday! In Georgia, 81 degrees** on an April day is chilly but everybody in Chicago was parading around in shorts and flip flops like it was full-blown summer.
*If you haven’t watched every single episode of Ruby on Netflix Instant, please go do so. I’ll wait. Are you back? Do you find Ruby increasingly obnoxious but can’t stop yourself from clicking “Next Episode”? Me too.
**Somebody needs to teach me how to do that little TM thing or the copyright C in a circle. And the degrees symbol too.
I’m all moved in! And by all moved in I mean my clothes are in my apartment. I still don’t have any furniture, sheets, pillows, basic living necessities. I did buy one towel so I could shower before church this morning. It’s a good thing I bought that or I wouldn’t have had any covers last night. In what was arguably the least restful sleep of my life, I spent last night on the floor in long johns, long john shirt, flannel pajamas, 2 pairs of socks, gloves, a knit hat and my puffy coat, covered with a towel. I fashioned a pillow out of a tote bag stuffed with a puffer vest and another coat. I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. and woke up about 37 times before I finally got up at 6:30 a.m.
Why was I so bundled up, you ask? Because when I arrived at my apartment yesterday morning, it was 10,000 degrees (Celsius) so I turned the radiator down. Turns out that I turned it off and then I couldn’t for the life of me make it come back on that night. About 2:30 a.m., it came roaring back to life and it was once again sweltering. Surely there’s a happy medium between frigid and roasting.
Since I don’t have a TV, I haven’t hooked up my cable and internet yet (I’m currently blogging from the comfort of my across-the-street Starbucks.) Since there’s no cable or internet and no furniture, yesterday afternoon and evening were quite boring. I could’ve called a friend but that would’ve required showering and showering would’ve required drying off and drying off would’ve required getting my “covers” wet. So I just went to bed instead. To entertain myself, I listened to a CD Mama sent me a few weeks ago. It reads the entire New Testament aloud to you over the course of a month. I listened to 24 days worth. The actors are pretty terrible – the guy playing Jesus sounds like Lyle Waggoner.
To further entertain myself, I made a rough floor plan of how I’d like to arrange furniture once I have it. Keep in mind that the only “design” program I have is Publisher and this is not even remotely to scale. Who knows if any of this will even work. But for now, let’s pretend, shall we?
I didn’t attempt to draw the bathroom or kitchen because I knew they’d look ridiculously out of scale. What do you think? Do you see a better layout?
This morning I went to Park Community Church, a mere 3 blocks away. I didn’t love it but I met some very nice people and scoped out some foine fellas (Lincoln Park seems to be chock full of handsome gents.) Ethos is still my #1 favorite church though.
My good friend Kelly will be here Thursday!! HOORAY!!! I’m SUPER excited for her visit because it’s been far too long since I last saw her, she’s hilarious and she is a guaranteed good time. Kelly is a good traveler and likes to do local things and eat at non-chain places so I have big plans for our culinary experimentation. Any suggestions for where I should take her?
Alrighty, I’m off to find some lunch and then maybe take a walk to stave off boredom. Only one more night of sleeping on the floor – my bed is delivered tomorrow afternoon!
My friends Kristal and Yancie came over from St. Louis for a visit this weekend and boy, was I glad to have them! Even though I’ve only been here a week, I’ve gotten a bit lonely for somebody to hang out with.
They drove in Friday night and we caught up a bit and planned their stay. Saturday morning, we suited up in our winter garb and headed out for a day of sight-seeing. We walked down the Magnificent Mile, got hollered at for taking pictures in the historic water tower (while the security guard watched videos on his iPhone), visited Navy Pier, petted a Shiba Inu, ate burritos, saw several couples skank it up in photo booths, took pictures at the bean in Millenium Park, watched some ice skaters and then took the L to Bucktown where we met Kristal’s college friend, Christian and his wife Carri for supper and drinks at Bluebird.
Chris and Carri are so much fun and it was great to meet some other Southern transplants in Chicago (well, sort of. Chris is from Germany but Carri’s from the South.) Carri tried to take us to a place called The Violet Hour but the line was long and it was cold so we walked on to Wicker Park and had drinks at Small Bar – a cozy sports bar with a wide range of local brews. Worn out from our cold day of walking, we took a cab home and fell fast asleep.
This morning, I woke up extra early to get ready for my orientation at The Second City. I haven’t had any really strong emotions regarding my move or starting my classes but I suppose I was subconsciously nervous since I woke up every half hour, panicking that I was late. Thankfully, I arrived in plenty of time for my 10 a.m. orientation before meeting Kristal and Yancie at the delicious Original Pancake House for brunch.
All of the new students met in the mainstage theater before we broke off into our program groups. There were about 15 of us starting the writing program. At one point, the instructor pointed to me and asked, “who’s your favorite comedian?” I was deciding which boy in the group was the best-looking kind of daydreaming at that point so I was a little startled to see that she was talking to me. I answered, “Miiiine?” in an accent that’s way more country than my normal voice. “Um, probably Steve Martin?” I do love Steve Martin. In fact, I’d marry him tomorrow if he asked but he was literally THE ONLY comedian I could call to mind. Oh well, so much for being cool and on the cutting edge of the comedy scene. I told Kristal when I got home that I sounded so country, people probably expected me to answer, “Well, shucks. I reckon I like them thar comedians on Hee Haw right well.”
I start classes Tuesday and I’m anxious to get going! Here’s hoping I won’t continue to talk like one of the Beverly Hillbillies :)
As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I had the pleasure of joining the incomparable Eddie Ross and Jaithan Kochar on one of their Market tours this weekend. It was beyond fun.
Mama, Sarah and I started the weekend by driving to Atlanta on Saturday for a spin through Ikea and Lenox. I’ve been to Ikea once before but never on a Saturday. It was packed to the gills! You couldn’t stir all the people with a stick! We ate lunch in the little cafeteria there then cruised through the showroom floor before getting down to business in the marketplace. Mama and Sarah each scored some great finds for next to nothing but I walked away empty handed. I just didn’t see anything I couldn’t live without; it seemed silly to buy housewares when all my stuff is in storage temporarily.
Next we stopped by Lenox Square Mall but by the time we got out of the car, our weary feet said, “enough!” A quick look around Anthropologie and a stop in Macy’s was all we could handle. A good night’s sleep was in order before the big day at Scott’s!
When we arrived at the market Sunday, we didn’t see a throng of people that we expected to see waiting for Eddie & Jaithan so we asked at the registration desk if they knew exactly where we should meet them. The employees paged Eddie over the PA system!!! I was mortified! A few minutes later, Jaithan walked up to us and introduced himself. We all laughed about the paging. Eddie joined us shortly thereafter and we all chatted while we waited on the rest of the group to arrive.
Our cozy group of 16 walked from the back of the building to the front while Eddie filled our heads with his infinite knowledge and wisdom. The small, diverse group was perfect. We had so much fun hearing Eddie’s stories and tips and I must say that he and Jaithan are both so cute, nice and accomodating!
I had way more fun than I’d even anticipated and scored some excellent deals in the process. If you EVER get the opportunity, you MUST join them on one of their outings. They have tons of exciting things coming up in the near future and you’ll be seeing a lot of them in magazines and on TV. I highly enourage you to take advantage of a trip now!
One of my favorite things about Eddie is that he doesn’t suggest you walk into a furniture showroom or art gallery and buy the most expensive things there. He is an advocate for finding great deals and hidden treasures and making them your own. He told us, “You don’t need to spend a lot of money to have a beautiful life. You should just love the pieces in your home and use a little creativity.” Love that philosophy.
This fun pair of chandeliers would look so pretty in a room with turquoise and coral accents. Maybe over a breakfast table? Jaithan is seen in the background taking pictures for their blog.
Eddie suggested using these tobacco leaf drying baskets as a lighting fixture or line one with a small tablecloth and fill it with chips and great pottery bowls of guacamole, salsa, etc. I really could have used one of these in my event coordinating days! It would have been so pretty on so many of the food stations!
These Chinese plates were SO PRETTY!! I ended up buying a good bit from this booth but I didn’t buy any of these. I sure wish I had now.
Beautifully restored copper jelly molds. This couple was selling at Scott’s for the first time. I think they’ll be in high demand.
I’ve always wanted a sewing room with framed vintage patterns. These were printed onto heavy backing. Tons of pretty prints and pages from vintage books at this booth.
Bakelite cutlery. Such a fun way to add color to the table.
Uncut linen. Would be great to have monogrammed and made into pillows or tea towels.
Mama went back and bought this great ironstone bowl Eddie spotted.
I walked away with six milk glass goblets, 4 Wedgewood dinner plates, 4 Japanese salad plates, 4 Japanese saucers, 2 silverplate dinner forks and 2 silverplate salad forks. My total ? A mere $65! By Sunday, vendors slash their prices to lighten the load home. I scored some super deals from a great china dealer and couldn’t pass up the milk glass goblets at $2.50 each.
The treasures I left behind:
This would be bananas on my white rummage sale chair with a contrasting piping (hot pink?) or even that blue velvet on the back of the chair.
I’d love to recover my hand-me-down sofa in one of these pretty neutrals. Especially that one with the coral-shaped pattern.
Although the leg detail feels a little Egyptian, I really like these chairs. There was another GORGEOUS chair in a deep aqua velvet I would have LOVED to get my hands on (not sure why I didn’t take a picture) but it was a cool $1,400. Yikes!
I love the look and shape of this chair but the vendor did it a great disservice by covering it in burlap. Have you ever been near burlap? It smells and it’s terribly itchy. Not great for putting in your living room. A coarse linen would have been much better suited.
Love this pair of lamps but I could not justify spending money on something I’d have to immediately put in storage. I think I need 4-5 houses to hold all of the things I love!
Now for a few not-so-spectacular finds:
Nice toupee!
Want a pet without the upkeep?
Wouldn’t this look lovely above a mantle? Ha!
All in all, this weekend was the perfect blend of bargain hunting, people watching and laughing hysterically (mostly at Mama’s antics) I HIGHLY recommend taking a spin through Scott’s (it’s well worth the $5 entry fee) and I recommend even MORE HIGHLY joining Eddie and Jaithan on an outing.
Sources:
Rashida Jones and I have a complicated relationship. It all started when she dated my boyfriend, John Krasinski (both on and off screen) but he’s marrying Emily Blunt soon so neither one of us won that battle. Anywho, Rashida and I have had a tense relationship ever since. Now that she’s a bit more likeable as Ann on Parks & Recreation, wears really cute outfits and I’ve seen her adorable New York studio apartment and her chic LA home in so many magazines and on so many blogs lately, I’m starting to kind of like her. I think we may even become (gasp!) friends.
Below photos of her NY Studio Apartment from Domino via Mimi & Meg.
Below pictures of her LA Home from Glamour via So Haute! and the Rashida Jones tribute blog.
**Confidential to JK: If you get sick of eating bread pudding and steak & kidney pie and talking about how bloody awesome things are and want some good ol’ American food and conversation, all is forgiven and I’ll take you back.**
I’m considering some big changes in the near future. I’m still thinking, praying, weighing the options, waiting for things to pan out but it got me wondering about change and how it can seem painful and difficult but can be healing and fantastic. I want to hear more about you all! What changes have you made that seemed hard but turned out to be the best thing for you?
Postcard by Susie.
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18
Hannah’s memorial service today was just about the most worshipful and beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. What a blessing to see how the Lord was so faithful to His children!
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Chisholm/Runyan
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
Refrain: Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Refrain
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Flooding Susie's Inbox 
