Here’s Something Neat

Preface: I try not to talk about weight because it’s a very off-putting topic but it will occasionally sneak in. If you’d like to maintain the illusion that I’m super tiny and cute, please keep scrolling and don’t read this.

I had an interview at Bath & Body Works today (that’s right, a Bachelor’s degree and 5 years of PR experience have potentially qualified me to sell moderately-priced lotion and shower gel gift sets to people who don’t know what to give as gifts) and I had a devil of a time finding something to wear. All of my pants and skirts were at least 2 sizes too big and the only way I can keep them on is to cinch up my belt as tight as it will go in a very Huck Finn fashion. Why are all my clothes too big?

• I do not have a job, therefore, I do not have much money
• Since I do not have much money, I can’t afford more than 2 meals a day
• Since I do not have much money, I can’t afford public transportation so I walk everywhere

While this is fantastic news for my health and waistline, it’s not great news for trying to look professional. My pencil skirt looks like a zippered pencil bag and my tops all billow and bag in a very unflattering fashion. It’s a vicious cycle: I need new clothes that fit properly in order to get a job but I can’t buy new clothes (or have the existing ones tailored) until I have a job that provides me with money. Woe is me!

I realize this is all very silly and petty compared to most of the world’s problems but if I can’t complain on the internet to strangers, where can I complain?